Abuser, Bethany Larson, Uncategorized

Unreal

This afternoon isn’t as easy as this morning.  I read the communication with the therapist and feel nauseated and want to burst out crying.  I’m on the outside watching two people, one of whom I have never met, decide who I am and how to be dealt with. Words, thoughts and ideas are being placed in my mouth and a stranger has it figured out from the stories of the abuser.  What she did was reckless and hope the board reprimands her – Parts of me says drop it all and walk away, but the other part is upset because I was conned. I was totally conned by this guy.  He believes he “pushed” me against the wall and can’t face how “the little push” caused a concussion. He even belittles my pain because doesn’t fit in his life, and like an idiot I chase him wanting him to recognize it, but he can’t.  That’s kinda sad…to be so scared to not want to look at yourself. It’s why he lies as much as he does, he was never serious about working things out but what I should be focusing on is why I wanted him after what he did. Yikes!

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